some jokes..lol

[night_magick04]

Smart Cat

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a bitch on the
phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

Any Americans: don't take this next one offensively it's funny lol

Go Canada!

A Canadian is having his breakfast (coffee, croissants, bread, butter
and jam) when an American man, chewing gum, sits down next to
him.

The Canadian ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts
a conversation.

American: "You Canadian folk eat the whole bread?"

Canadian (in a bad mood): "Of course."

American: (after blowing a huge bubble)"We don't. In America,
we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container,
recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to
Canada." The American has a smirk on his face.

The Canadian listens in silence.

The American persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

Canadian: "Of Course."

American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling).
"We don't. In America we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then
we put all the peels, seeds,and left overs in containers,
recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to
Canada."

The Canadian then asks: "Do you have sex in America?"

American: "Why of course we do", the American says with a big
smirk.

Canadian: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've
used them?"

American: "We throw them away, of course."

Canadian: "We don't. In Canada, we put them in a container,
recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them
to America."

[Perilous]

What do you do when your DubDub itches?

.............

" Rubadubdub "

Buahaha

(you can thank the hillarious house of frightenstein for that one!)

[KinderGoth]

(you can thank the hillarious house of frightenstein for that one!)

Best. Show. Ever.


How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and cry.




I know you've all heard that, but it makes me giggle so I said it anyways.

[Arturius Maximus]

that one is freakin' beautiful.

emo jokes are welcome, everyone.

[KinderGoth]

Okies.


I wish my grass was emo, because then it would cut itself.

[xXButterflyXx]

ok this is just a quote from my lunch time today i thought would make you all laugh.
there's this long running joke that Josie is the future Kat(two girl friends of mine) and Kat coems up to me and goes "Hey since Josie isthe future me, if i had sex with her would it be incest?"
and i just looked at her and said "No it'd be masterbation!"
....
=D

[dark_goddess_76]

[KinderGoth]

I love that picture SO much. I have it saved in my photobucket album for occasions such as these... but you beat me to it. Kudos.

[dark_goddess_76]

LOL...someone once sent me a ton of cute cat pics...I love the one that says something like Devil cat wants you dead...

[Michelle Menace]

lol i like the chewing gum joke.. lol sick

[Arturius' bijou]

Is killing an emo considered murder?

No. It's assisted suicide.

[yukigurl]

Here's some more emo jokes!

Q:What did the emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: "Stop crying. You're stealing all of the negative attention."
Q: What's the difference between an Emo kid and a dead baby?
A: The baby doesn't cry.
Q: How do you get an emo kid out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: What do you call an emo kid laying in the road?
A: A speed bump.
Q: How do you stop an emo kid from drowning?
A: Give him a tissue.